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I’m obsessed with this song.

7 Jul

If I had a shred of song writing talent I’d like to think that this is what I would have written since “they” tell you to write about what you know.

Edie Brickell – Waiting for Me

you call me up on a saturday night
half intoxicated with a crazy bunch of guys
say you’re at a party and i really oughta come
then you hold the phone up so that i can hear the hot drum beat

if you’re waiting for me
you’ll be waiting for a long time

i don’t wanna leave the heart of fun and happiness
i don’t wanna walk away from love and tenderness
i’ll be on the sofa watching rented videos
i’ll be getting closer to the one who satisfies my soul

if you’re waiting for me
you’ll be waiting for a long time

i have up and changed my ways
things will never be the same

it isn’t like i’m missing out on anything tonight
happy as can be i got my babies by my side
one day i will turn around and they will all be grown
the they will be going out and won’t be staying home with me

if you’re waiting for me
you’ll be waiting for a long time

i have up and changed my ways
things will never be the same

Yesterday

19 Dec

God, I love my baby (both of them!) so much. MM was still napping, MC woke from his nap and was so sweet and happy. I sat down on the floor with him and we rolled a ball back and forth for a bit. At one point he got so excited – squealing, clapping, giggling and he crawled over to me and climbed into my lap. My heart sang. My eyes filled with tears as I held him close to me.

I flashed back to those awful nights filled with both of us crying. The moments where my patience was worn thin. He deserves better, this sweet boy of mine. He deserves a mama that is happy, whole and present in his life. I need to take better care of myself – nap when I can until he’s sleeping more instead of staying up late. Maybe give my therapist a call again. Get a babysitter more frequently so Daddy and I can work on ourselves.

For him.

Not gentle parenting, gentle…friendship.

22 Nov

I have a hard time walking the line between sharing my experiences, philosophies and what works best for my family and being that pushy busy body that you don’t want to hang out with. Here’s a good facebook example:

Friend A: Anyone have a sling or carrier I can borrow on Thursday?
Me: I do! Let’s meet up today at the park and I can show you what I have and how to use it.
Friend B: Be careful, A. It will probably be made from organic wheat flour and hemp.
Friend C: I love my Bjorn but baby is about to outgrow it.
Me: Actually B, hemp is great! C – if you’re looking for something Bjorn like that you can use longer check out a Beco or an Ergo. A little spendy but totally worth their weight in gold. You can even use it when baby is a toddler. I loved mine for traveling especially blah blah blah blah blah.

Why can’t I just quit while I’m ahead?

Transition

13 Oct

I have a fairly big project at work this week.  I won’t bore you with the details but my to do list has been firmly lodged in the back of my head since yesterday morning.

One of my biggest struggles as a working mom is switching my brain back and forth between mom brain and meeting planner brain.  I try to keep things separate but it’s impossible.  While I’m feeding MC at 3 AM (and 4 and 5:10 and 6:20) I’ve been thinking about email that need to go out and follow up phone calls.  While I’m at work checking and composing those emails I’m thinking about laundry and diapers and what to pack in the lunch boxes tomorrow.  It’s no wonder I can’t get anything done.

I try to use the drive from school to work to clear my mind, make note of kid related tasks that need to be accomplished and get my work brain in the game but one of the most appealing aspects of the school is its close proximity to my office.  Ha!

I NEED to get stuff done today.  I need to get off of the internets.  I need a nap.

It’s 2:17 on Sunday

10 Oct

MC is sleeping.  I can hear MM stirring in her bed.  I’m poised at the keyboard doing internet things and waiting for her to call out to me (or surprise me by getting out of bed and coming downstairs on her own like yesterday).  She desperately needs another hour of sleep but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I just uploaded a picture of MC to our Tumblr site today and I can’t believe how old he looks.  I’m in denial that my baby is going to be one in 6ish weeks.  It’s unbelievable.

We’re heading to the pumpkin patch tomorrow since Daddy has off for Columbus Day.  Our “good” camera is all charged and ready to go.  Hopefully we don’t forget it this year!  Not sure what the kids will be wearing since their Halloween shirts are both long sleeved.  We’re heading out early enough in the day that it might be cool enough to justify it.  I hope so because they’re darn cute!

Fresh

7 Oct

When I woke up this morning I checked my phone for missed calls, texts and emails.  I was delighted to see that I missed a text around 5:00 am from one of my girlfriends – her daughter was born.

My daughter was also born in the middle of the night.  I remember being at the hospital and holding her knowing there wasn’t a soul in the universe that knew she was alive aside from my husband and me (and our doula, the OB, the nurses, etc.  You know what I mean.).  It was the best secret ever.  I was nearly bursting to share the news with my family but there was something special about those few hours where we could just soak in the babiness of her without having to share anything – even the knowledge of her existence – with anyone else.

With my son it was different.  For one – I had the care of my daughter to worry about.  That took some coordination with various family members and out of town travel.  My sister was staying with us with her youngest so obviously they knew we were heading to the birth center when that all went down.  Social media was different as well.  I updated my Facebook page when I was in labor.  The whole world (well, my friends anyway) knew. 

Regardless, both births and the hours following were so special and personal and magical.  I hope my friend makes a point to soak it all in.

New motherhood.  There’s nothing like it!

Here I am.

26 Sep

It’s been a while. Things have slowed down at work so I’m hoping to get settled into a regular blogging routine. In the meantime I’ll kick things off with a snapshot of what’s been going on.

MM: almost totally potty trained. She napped in underpants today and woke up dry! She’s totally rocking the whole underpants thing and is absolutely adorable as she scoots herself onto the toilet. It involves tiptoes, skootching one butt cheek onto the potty at a time and wiggling. Awesome.

She’s taking a dance class at daycare one day a week. She loves it. She’s doing really well at school! I was nervous because they moved to a new building, her favorite teacher left the her two BFFs moved up to the three year old room. The director approached me to see if I wanted to move her when up as well – she was only 2.5 and would be the youngest in her class. She’s doing great and is learning so much! I’m so proud of how sweet and compassionate she is.

MC: also doing awesome. I had to go out of town last week for four nights. That was the first time I left MC overnight and the second time for MM. MIL came in to help Daddy and they all survived. MC did NOT wean which was my biggest fear. He did come down with a double ear infection and a heinous diaper rash in my absence but seems to be recovering nicely.

I need to strip his diapers. Any advice? I have some RLR on its way – hopefully that will do the trick. He’s been out of cloth for two weeks now and I’m missing the fluff.

He’s fully immersed in baby led weaning and loves his food. His favorite is frozen peas/carrots. I can’t believe how much he eats – it’s crazy. He’s up to 7 teeth now and is really, really fast on all fours. No consistent words yet but he babbled constantly. Sleep is still crap. I’m trying to start the night with him in his crib but I really do miss the snuggling.

As I mentioned I was out of town for four nights. It was hard to be away, especially the pumping. I had no idea what to aim for in the freezer so I set my sights on 200 oz. It was more than enough – they went through 120 oz. I brought about 60 home with me so i still have quite a bit to fall back upon.

MC is up and hungry. Gots to go.