Archive | MM RSS feed for this section

10 on Tuesday

19 Apr

1. I spent the weekend meeting a bunch of internet friends in Chicago. No kids. No husbands. Just a bunch of girls. It was fabulous and so, so much fun. Our group has been together for TEN years. It started as a spin off of a popular wedding planning website and took on a life of its own. We now have our own forum, are Facebook friends with each other and have met many members face to face but this was the first time a major get together came to fruition. It was amazing.

2. Did I mention Chicago? I can’t even tell you how awesome it was to go back. Since we moved to Austin I’ve only been back once before this weekend. A lot is still the same. No major changes to the skyline unlike here. A lot of the retail downtown has moved around but all in all it was exactly as fabulous as I remembered. Except for the weather 🙂

3. I missed the kids something fierce. I made the conscious decision not to bring my pump and it worked out fine. I had to hand express a bit Sunday night but otherwise it wasn’t too bad. Two nights away was just enough time – I would have been super sad if I’d have stayed another night.

4. F did pretty well without Mama there. Apparently he woke up once each night and slept in later than usual. While I’m glad there weren’t any major issues I’m kind of ticked that I get the short end of the sleeping stick. He woke 3 times for me last night and got up at 5:30. Daddy came up after he heard the crying, took F downstairs with him and the little stinker went back to sleep until 6:30. There are going to be some changes made in our sleep routine, I just need to figure out what they are.

5. I missed the Easter egg hunt but the pictures were adorable. F had a blast, of course. He picked up 2 eggs and stood around shaking them like the egg shakers in music class. Too cute.

6. A is aware that Easter = candy. And there’s nothing she likes more than candy! She is my daughter, after all.

7. We booked our flights for PA and will be spending Mother’s Day weekend up there. I’m super excited to see my family – we haven’t been up that way since July of last year. Nana will be down at the end of May for A’s dance recital so we’ll be getting a lot of family time next month.

8. I don’t know how we lived without a water table for so long but O.M.G. the kids are CRAZY about it. They’ll splash in that things for almost an hour – it’s glorious and adorable. The best is watching F try to drink out of it like the dog. Silly boy.

9. We’re getting the kids pictures taken on May 1 then I think it’ll be time for F to get a haircut 😦 I’m hoping it’ll still be curly but honestly, the ends are a mess. I will weep, I know it.

10. Still no offers on our house. Now that T will be working from home having the extra space is probably a good thing but damn, this is a bummer.


10 on Tuesday

12 Apr

1. T got a job offer and accepted! I’m beyond excited. It’s a work from home position with a large bank HQed in my hometown. He’ll have to go for some training and I’m hoping to turn it into a family trip. More money, great benefits and a real life bonus plan – woot!

2. Kiddos have both been sick. F threw up for the first time Friday night. Poor baby was still in such great spirits – you wouldn’t even know he was sick. He was fine when he woke up in the morning but we still took it easy on Saturday. A threw up last night – same as F. She’s home with Daddy today and is reportedly acting like her usual crazy self.

3. The girlie and I had girls night on Sunday and went to see the Knuffle Bunny show at the Paramount Theater. We had a great time and even went for pancakes (her choice) after.

4. I’m flying to Chicago on Saturday for my first ever girl’s weekend! No kids, no husbands – just lots of drinks and sleep. I’m nervous but so, so very excited. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go but checked airfare at the last minute and was shocked at how reasonable it was. I leave Saturday and return first thing Monday morning. Just enough time to get a little break.

5. I have no idea what to do about nursing. I don’t think I’ll need to pump and honestly don’t think I’d get anything anyway. I’m a little worried about getting engorged though. I figure I’ll nurse F before I leave and hope for the best. Eek.

6. The house is still on the market. We dropped the price a bit last week and have seen a little up-tick in the number of showings. The house across the street from us just popped back onto the market with a price that’s 20K less than ours. It’s not as “upgraded” as ours but that’s still going to hurt when people are looks at neighborhood comps. We’re in a small holding pattern with T’s new job anyway but it’s still a major bummer.

7. Not sure what we’re doing for Easter. I was thinking about doing an egg hunt at our house and inviting some friends over but with me going to Chicago that’s not going to happen. I was sort of hoping we’d make it down to Miami – girlie is missing her grandma like crazy and we had a blast last year – we’ll have to see. I love that she remembers Easter last year. Kiddos growing up isn’t all bad 🙂

8. I’m getting a haircut AND COLOR!!! on Friday. I can’t remember the last time I got a professional hair color and I need it badly. A is getting her haircut while I’m away on Saturday. T loves her hair short and in a little bob – not sure what I’m going to come home too. F is probably due for his first cut but I can’t bear the though of him losing his curls.

9. Work is kind of blah right now. Things are about to pick up so I’m trying to enjoy it while I can.

10. A’s dance recital is next month! I’m entirely too excited about it. She’s not 100% sold on her costume – I’m hoping she’ll come around by recital time.

A morning in the life of MM

17 Feb

MM woke up (or rather, never went to sleep but finally made enough noise that we heard her) at 9:30 pm last night.  She wanted her daddy to sleep with her.  Daddy is a sucker for his girlie and brought her downstairs and get her settled into the big bed.  She was up and down most of the night – starving.  I’m pretty sure she’s growning again since she was complaining that the inside of her legs hurt.  Poor love.

I had to wake her up for school this morning.  That’s never a good thing.  I crawled into her bed and rubbed her back until she opened her eyes.  She was grumpy but a quick round of “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” made her smile.  She was super excited to see what Daddy picked for her to wear to dance class and fervently hoped it was all pink (it was) so she excited to head downstairs to get dressed.  Especially once she heard MC squacking.

At that point we had 5 minutes to leave the house to get everyone where the needed to go on time.  MM lives in her own time zone.  Rushing that girl is pointless.  I gently pointed out that we were in a hurry and she cooperated.  “Okay, Mama!”

I got her tights on and she did her leotard with just  a little help.  Sadly, she ate all of the breakfast food overnight so we were going to have to drive through “The Farm” (code for McDonald’s – like “Old McDonald had a farm” – get it?) to get her a biscuit and apple juice.  We got in the car and took off, MM chattering all the way.

Her first request was to hear “Carry Up Away” better known as “Carry That Weight” by the Beatles.  She told me she sang that song to MC when he was a tiny baby and at the hotel.  While yes, we did stay in a hotel when he was a tiny baby I don’t recall her singing that to him but it still made my heart melt.  I love when she sings softly to herself to the music on the radio.  9 times out of 10 she knows the words better than I do.

We got to the Farm and were very excited to see “dump tractors”.  I got her the biscuit and apple juice she requested and she was a happy girl.  Naturally, she wanted to do the straw herself 🙂  She spilled a little juice on her tights which had the potential to send her into a tizzy but instead she asked for a napkin and reassured me (and herself, I think) that “It will dry, Mama.  Don’t worry!”

We continued our way to school and she finished half of her biscuit.  She thanked me “This was really yummy, Mama.”  We had an incident a few days ago where I did her straw for her and she threw a fit. I explained that if she tells me that she wants to do the straw then I will know not to do it for her but I can’t read her mind.  I told her it made me sad that instead of saying thank you when I handed her the drink she screamed and that has really stuck with her.  Love. 

I dropped both kiddos off at school.  We take MC to his room first and MM finds a toy that he can play with while I get him settled with his teacher.  It warms my heart that he dives into Miss L’s arms.  She seems to adore him and always has a funny story for me.

We headed down to MM’s room.  She was greated by her circle of friends who her all so excited to see her.  We saw them at the window as we walked to the front door and I could hear their little voices shouting with excitement.  MM was shy with all the attention she was getting and wanted me to hold her.  We put her bag in her cubby and she hugged me so hard.  I put her down and wished her a great day and she gave me a giant smooch. 

It’s so hard to leave her on days like this.  The sweetness, the love, her little smirk.  I hope we have another morning like this tomorrow and we can spend the whole day laughing, cuddling and enjoying the sweetness.

A day (actually 3 months ish) late.

3 Feb

This blog post by Nerdy Apple Bottom went viral back in November.  I laughed, I cried and it got my brain moving (which really is a feat these days).

I love that Boo dressed as Daphne and I commend Nerdy Apple for encouraging her son to be the boy he wants to be.  Had I seen him enter into school in his costume I would have been utterly charmed and would have high fived his mother on my way in. 

Her post struck so many chords with me.  Maybe because my little boy has a big sister and he really digs all of her things.  His “lovey” is a pink blanket that MM never really cared for. 

Of course, he’s still a baby but he really, really loves that blanket.  Like a lot.  Do I need to worry about him dragging that sucker into school and listening to a rude mom make a snarky comment?  I certainly hope  not.

Generally speaking, MM is all girl.  Her hobbies include walking around the house looking for “princess stuff”.  Princess stuff can be anything from plastic dress up shoes to a pink ribbon to a purple bouncy ball.  Pretty much whatever strikes her fancy.  She loves pink and purple and anything that sparkles (much like a magpie).  I fully expected my girlie to want to be a ballerina or a princess or something along those likes for Halloween but she surprised me when she said she wanted a Batman costume.  Pink Batman.

Forgive the awful picture. 

When we walked into school she saw her friends in their princess atire and I felt her hesitate.  She was starting to feel self conscious and I wasn’t quite sure what to do.  It seems like not quite 3 is so, so young to have to worry about self esteem but that’s the world we live in.  I gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her.  I reminded her that Grandma made her costume and that she was going to have so much fun at the school party.  Apparently that was enough to get her through her hesitation because she took off and played with her friends and  seemingly didn’t give her lack of princessness another thought. 

I tried (and am still trying) to be thoughtful about gender issues.  Having one of each gender makes it both easier and harder, especially since they’re close in age and are still developing their personalities.  When MM was our only we conscientiously purchased toys for her that would appeal to “boys” and “girls”.  She has baby dolls and trucks and a non-pink kitchen and enough blocks to construct her own private superdome.  As she’s gotten older she shows a clear preference for “girl” things.  And blocks.  But mostly “girl” stuff.

And so does MC.  Don’t get me wrong, he’ll pick up a truck and make cute little “vroom” sound effects but at the ripe old age of 14 months he’ll grab for the pink and shiny over blue and manly time and time again.  Will that change over time?  I don’t know.  I personally don’t care if he grows up and wants butterflies stenciled on his walls but my heart hurt thinking about how much harder his path through life will be.  The pain I felt watching MM’s little lip start to quiver when I took her to school in her Batman costume was hard.  It hit me then that as my children grow the issues we face will only get harder and more complicated.  The joy will increase but so will the sorrow. 

As lovely as it would be to keep them as babies forever…

This is really rubbing me the wrong way.

2 Feb

This article was posted on Facebook yesterday by Natural Parenting: Can Working Parents be AP?

The article itself is fine. Nothing earth shattering but perfectly fine.  The comments on Facebook blew my mind.  I can’t believe there are people out there that actually believe that working parents mothers can’t practice attachment parenting (please note that dads seem to get a free pass – it’s okay if they work.  Not mothers though – they’re crucified for making that choice.)

I’ve been a working mom since MM turned 4 months old and I returned to work.  Sadly, my boss at the time was not open to a nontraditional work schedule so full time it was.  There was a small school across the parking lot from my office so we opted to use them for MM.  I was able to visit with her on my lunch break to nurse and play with her – it was as good as it gets.  I would have rather have been home with her but that wasn’t in the cards at the time.  My husband works in the mortgage industry – the market crashed right after she was born.  Thinking about relying solely on his income made me nervous so we did what we had to do.  I’m secure with my decision and I don’t think anyone could point a finger and say that MM does not have a secure attachement to her family.  She made sure of it by never, ever sleeping for the first year of her life 🙂

I hate the mommy wars.  The judgement.  The name calling.  If it take a village then why do so many women try so hard to burn the village down? 

I took  MC to the eye doctor yesterday.  We waited for an hour and a half during which I was reprimanded by another mother for letting him climb up onto a child sized chair and pull a bead maze thingy closer to him so the edge was hanging off of the table.  The mother told me that the maze was going to fall on him.  *I* wasn’t worried about it and didn’t really see the big deal – it’s not like it weighed a ton or was really big – it just would have made some noise.  She was clearly judging me for my neglectful ways.  I didn’t really care. 

I’m far from perfect and certainly do my own fair share of judging other mothers but I like to think I know enough to keep those thoughts in my own head.  It’s probably good that I’m an older mother – I know my discretion in my younger years wasn’t nearly as fine tuned.  But then again, Facebook didn’t exist so my opportunity to make the world at large feel like crap would have been limited.

Happy Birthday!

20 Jan

I heard MM moving around when she woke up this morning. I found her standing at the top of the stairs. I gave her a big hug and told her “Happy birthday! You’re three today!”. She burst into tears and said “I didn’t have a party!”

That’s my girlie.

Tomorrow my baby turns 3

19 Jan

Two years and 364 days ago I was at work on a Friday frantically trying to clear out my in box and wrap up loose ends. My due date had come and gone. My body wasn’t really showing signs of impending labor but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be back in the office on Monday. So I worked and worked until I felt like someone could pick up where I left off and I went home and went about my business. I slept as much as a pregnant woman sleeps and woke up the next morning without giving work another thought.

I had some cramping and wondered if it was anything. My husband and I went for a walk over at the fancy pants outdoor mall and I had to stop every now and then because of the contractions. I was excited and very much looking forward to meeting my daughter. But the contractions fizzled out on the drive home. I tried not to be too disappointed and tried to take a nap.

Later that night we went to dinner at IHOP. I wanted pancake in the worst way. Flash foward 4 hours later and I was sure my “discomfort” was because of those pancakes. Or was it labor? I didn’t want to get my hopes up so I tried to blame it on indigestion. Eventually I realized that I couldn’t deny it any longer. I was in labor. And it was worse than I expected.

I desperately wanted natural child birth. My body betrayed me time and time again trying to get pregnant – I NEEDED to know that I could do this. We took a Bradley class to prepare and hired our teacher to be my doula. I did the work. I practiced relaxing. I did more pelvic tilts than I needed to. I felt prepared. My contractions came on fast and furious. I got in the shower to see if that would help (it did). Then I got into the tub (that helped too). Then I got back into the shower. My husband called our doula to give her a heads up. I got out of the shower (around 11 pm) and got into bed to try to rest.


Instead of resting I was busy crying and telling myself that I needed a c-section. The poor guy didn’t know what to do with me. I barfed my guts up and made an executive decision to head to the hospital. We finished packing our bag and proceeded to the car for the drive from hell. We live very close to the hospital so it wasn’t *that* far but I’ve supressed those memories because it was so awful. We pulled up to the ER entrance and my husband let me out. As I was staggering up the drive a perky couple walked in arm and arm and pronounced that the wife was in labor. I wanted to kill her. SHE wasn’t in labor – *I* was in labor. It only took one look to see that I needed some serious assistance but I waved them to go first. I’m always polite and they did get to the desk before I did. Besides, I was waiting for T and our doula so I made myself comfortable bent over a chair trying not to die.

We got checked in pretty quick. And skipped the whole triage thing. Then got me into a room STAT and did an internal. I was dilated to an 8 (holla!) thanksweetbabyjesus. Oddly enough, I was most comfortable in a semi reclined position so that how I stayed through the rest of L&D. I did roll on my side at one point with the hopes of getting a small lip of my cervix to pull back but for the most part I was “happy” just how I was.

Interestingly, my water didn’t break until I was pushing. A nurse offered to break it for me but I declined. There was meconium in the water so poor MM had to be suctioned but she was just fine.

Labor was short. My contractions started at 10:30 pm ish, we got to the hospital around 1:45 am and she was born at 5:36.

And I made it. I delivered her without any medication or interventions. It was hard but it was worth it. It gave me confidence in my body that came in handy as we struggled through breastfeeding. I knew I could do it and I did.

But that’s not the point of this post. The point is that MM is going to be 3. That’s three years of sassy girlie stories. Three years of snuggles and giggles and tantrums and love. She was born looking just like her daddy but is starting to resemble me more and more. She’s smart and funny and a breath of fresh air. She is my sunshine and I can’t wait to see her face when I pick her up from school today.