Well how about that?

16 Nov

I got my first postpartum period. And suddenly everything makes sense. The mood swings, the crappy skin, the bloat. Sigh. I had a feeling it was coming and yet it still took me by surprise.

I dusted off the ol’ diva cup and let me just tell you that inserting that thing is NOT just like riding a bike. Every time took a couple of tries – here’s hoping that next time won’t be so hard.

The unfortunate thing about getting my period is that now I’m faced with the possibility of getting pregnant again. Do we want to? When? Can I? I’ve learned to take nothing for granted when it comes to fertility. I’d hate to get my heart set on having a third only to encounter the same difficulties we had with MM. It would be so easy to stop at two. After all, I have a boy and a girl – there no reason to keep on procreating, right? Our house is a good size for two. It would be less expensive for traveling, college – hell, even food – but I love me a newborn baby. And I want a homebirth. And we already invested in cloth diapers!

But what about daycare expenses? Those would increase significantly. Wanting a homebirth is not a good enough reason to go through another pregnancy (assuming I can get pregnant, of course). But my heart doesn’t feel like we’re done yet. I think I want one more tiny one to marvel over. One tiny nursling that will sleep on my chest. One more babe to stare at while she sleeps curled up next to me.

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